On Thursday, I became ill and tested positive for COVID-19. Thankfully, my symptoms are more akin to a cold or flu and nothing like the more dangerous previous strains. All this means that I am home this weekend instead of at Mass. This weekend I was scheduled to preach, but still have symptoms. A big thank you goes out to Dcn. Brett who quickly had to put together a homily in my absence. Below is the homily I would have given. I hope it helps you in your walk of healing and forgiveness.
Homily: “Forgiveness: An Inside Job”
24th Sunday in Ordinary Time
September 17, 2023
The Gospel readings in these last three weekends flow quite nicely. Two weeks ago, Fr. Anthony shared about how we can have obstacles in our lives and how they can cripple us from a full life. Last week, Dcn. Brett shared thoughts about how we can approach people with whom we disagree or have need of correction. If you remember, trying to humiliate or get even were not the goals, but rather reconciliation. In today's Gospel Jesus continues with the parable of the "Unforgiving Servant." In a way, what Jesus was trying to share comes to it's climax in telling us that we need to always forgive and that we will receive forgiveness in the measure in which we forgive.
Allow me to offer a personal example, deleting many details. I lived in an apartment years ago and while I was away, my neighbor entered my apartment and stole various items. I started to notice that some things in my apartment were disheveled and and/or missing. I realized that someone had been in my apartment. I felt violated, afraid, and angry. After pondering on it, I realized it must have been my neighbor. Again, I'm leaving out details. Anger then became fury. So, I started wishing bad things to come upon him. Ultimately, law enforcement agencies arrested him for the theft and many other non-related things, In time, I forgave him and was able to move on. But, forgiveness was not easy to do.
When we are wronged, the resentment that follows is like a cancer that eats us from the inside. When harm comes to our kiddos and the vulnerable, our outrage can be even greater. To forgive perpetrators of those who harm us is often beyond our fallen nature.
At this point, I think I should define forgiveness in terms of when we are wronged by others. One way to put it is, the remission, the erasing, the cancelling of a person's debt by the one who is owed. When someone spreads rumors about us, we are owed an apology, right? When someone hits your car, you are owed a repair without cost to you. When my next-door neighbor stole my items, he owed me back my things. When I forgive, I decide with full will and heart to release the offender from repaying, apologizing, or in any way making amends to me. This does not mean I deny the seriousness of the other's wrongdoing, condone their behavior, forget what the other has done, or release them from accountability. When I forgive someone, its not really about the offender, but myself. I am the one who is freed from the resentments, expectations, or deeply negative feelings towards the offender. In fact, it allows me to begin again, reorienting my relationship with the other, whether by starting again or by moving forward with new, potentially very serious boundaries. Forgiveness is an inside job. Depending on the offense, it can be so difficult that it requires God's grace. The greater the offense, the greater the grace needed to forgive.
Jesus, in the Gospel today, commands us to forgive always. It wasn't just a recommendation. In fact, he goes on to teach via the parable of the dishonest steward that it is critical to our eternal well-being that we forgive. The translation from the Lectionary doesn't quite illustrate how outrageous the amount was that was owed to the king by the steward. It wasn't just a "huge amount." It was an impossible amount: 100 million day's worth of wages. But, this was part of the point Jesus was making. The king forgave the steward a debt that could never be paid back, illustrating how great is the mercy our Heavenly Father. Well, my friends, this is our situation, we, his broken disciples. The debt due to sin we owe God is far beyond us to repay. So, that is why the Father sent his Son, Jesus: to take on our sins and thereby cancelling the debt we owe. But, there is a catch: We, who call ourselves Christians, are to do the same for others, and their debt is small compared to humanity's debt owed to God. Forgiveness is a gift freely offered by God. But it is one that impresses upon is a requirement to forgive others, to release them of the debt they owe us.
I know how much I have preferred to feed my feelings of being wronged which results in a growth and strengthening of an unforgiving heart. Unforgiveness has an unyielding character about it. It hides and infiltrates our emotions and holds us captive, akin to a spirit that is not only unwilling to leave us, but is dead set against what is best for us. It is dead set on keeping our victimhood in a permanent state of being, convincing us to be hurt by other's actions. If you want to be truly free, then release the debts owed you, forgive those who have wronged you. Starting with yourself and move out from there. You may not feel worthy of being forgiven, but God does. He has proven his conviction about his love for you by dying for you. If you want to be free, be a person of forgiveness. But remember, its an inside job, and it requires God's grace which can enable us to do what seems impossible. And, when it happens, we are never the same.